Don't Make These New Year's Resolutions

1. Don’t rely on fad diets

If you’re starting on any fad diet, you’re likely on the path for failure. “Generally, the latest ‘hot’ diet or celebrity weight-loss endorsement means cutting out one or more of the nutrients your body needs, like fruits (carbs), grains (gluten), or meat (protein),” Mazur says—it’s not very sustainable, and it’s definitely not enjoyable. “Instead, focus on balance and variety. Make your resolution to focus more on proper portions and a fueling plan that includes a variety of fresh produce and lean meats that’ll provide your body what it needs to run optimally all year long.”

2. Don’t promise that you’ll work out every day

On January 1, the gym morphs into a nightmare hellscape: machines are packed, there’s a line for the treadmills, classes are maxed out. Be patient: “Within 30 days the primitive brain balks and we’re back to holing up at home, plugging into technology and promising ourselves we’ll go to the gym next week or the week after,” Mellin says. By setting a lofty goal like “working out every day,” you don’t give your body enough time to adjust to that kind of physical shift. And it’s not just a matter of mustering up the motivation. For example: Some brain pathways encourage exercise when we’re in a good mood and engaging in activities we like, Mellin explains, which perpetuates your desire to work out. But if you’re stressed at work, annoyed by winter’s perpetual darkness, and pressured to sweat every day, then the emotional stress can curb your goals—even if you want to succeed. Be more realistic and gradually increase your frequency. “And if going to the gym doesn’t spark an emotional high, stick to something like playing tennis with a friend, joining a team, or training for a half-marathon,” she adds.

3. Don’t swear off all junk food

You want to think of eating as a nutrition plan that fuels your body, not a diet that sucks all the enjoyment out of food. “By cutting out the indulgences or the foods you enjoy, you’re more likely to overindulge when you decide to give up your resolution,” Mazur says. Let yourself enjoy otherwise blacklisted foods in moderation. “Weight gain happens due to over-consumption, not because you had that one square of chocolate,” Mazur adds. “Follow the 80/20 rule: 80% of the calories you consume are balanced and varied, including fresh fruits and vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains, and reserve 20% of the calories you’d consider ‘cheat meals’.”

4. Don’t weigh yourself every morning (yet)

We’ll level with you: Losing weight is difficult, and requires lifestyle changes across the board. You’ll need to dedicate more time to train efficiently, and adjust your diet, and get more sleep. The only problem? You can dial in your weight-loss efforts for seven straight days (which can feel godforsakenly long), and not lose a pound. This can crush motivation, because it doesn’t seem to justify your good decisions. Similarly, the scale can become your source of validation. It can be deeply discouraging if you’re losing weight at a good clip, then everything comes to an abrupt halt.

Here’s the rub: “Daily weigh-ins are not an accurate gauge of progress,” Mazur says. “Water fluctuation and hormones can mean as much as a 2-lb swing in one day. Additionally, if your new workout plan includes strength training, then you’re replacing unwanted body fat with muscle, so the scale might actually go up.” And that’s definitely not a bad thing. Rather than harp on a number, focus on how you feel every day. If you’re getting leaner, feeling stronger, and becoming a happy, healthier version of yourself, then that’s the payoff. And give yourself at least a few months to see results.

5. Don’t force yourself to meditate

Here’s the thing with meditation: If you’re normally even-keeled and emotionally connected in regards to health, relationships, and spirituality, meditating is a fantastic discipline to boost wellness. But if you’re always a bit frenzied and overwhelmed, it might not help. “The emotional brain releases stress by processing robust emotions, not by awareness or quieting the mind,” Mellin says. So you might feel better if you shout out a long string of expletives when no one’s home, have a good laugh with some friends, or bawl your eyes out. You need a release. If you’re highly emotional, your needs might be best suited by communal affection. You might not thrive when you’re forced to focus on yourself so strictly.

6. Don’t swear you’ll ‘find your soulmate’

Signing up for every mobile dating app and seeing every gym session as a speed-dating exercise isn’t the right way to go about meeting people. In fact, “meeting the right person” shouldn’t necessarily be your starting point. First, make sure you’re financially, emotionally, and spiritually where you want to be, Mellin suggests. If you don’t like who you are at this stage in your life, you’re not going to be able to contribute as much to a relationship, and you’re more likely to search for the wrong personal characteristics in a potential partner. “Try to clear away the clutter from past relationships,” Mellin says. “You want to radiate authenticity, vibrancy, and integrity. People are attracted to emotional energy more so than the size of someone’s biceps.”